Parent-teacher relationships are essential for your child’s growth, but they can be hard to navigate at times. Your child’s teacher spends a lot of time with them throughout the week and usually, they want to provide helpful insights to parents. Unfortunately, some of their comments can do more harm than good, making parents feel unheard or judged. So, let’s take a look at eight things parents really don’t want to hear from teachers.
1. “Your Child Is Just Average”
No parent wants to hear that their child is “average.” Every kid has their own unique talents. Dismissing their child’s specific talents and calling them ordinary can feel disheartening to a parent. Instead, teachers should focus on a kid’s strengths rather than slapping a label on them. When a parent knows their child has potential, they will feel more empowered to support their growth.
2. “They’re Not Working Hard Enough”
Implying that someone’s child isn’t trying hard enough can come off as accusatory. Parents probably see their kids working hard at home and feel like the teacher isn’t seeing the full picture. Additionally, there are factors like learning styles, external stressors, and classroom dynamics that can all come into play as well. Teachers will do better to suggest actionable strategies for the child to improve.
3. “They Need to Be More Like Their Peers”
You shouldn’t ever compare a child to their peers. It can be offensive and harmful. Every kid is going to develop at their own pace. Sometimes, this kind of comment will make parents feel like their child is being judged. It can also add pressure to the child and lead to unnecessary stress.
4. “Your Child Is a Distraction in Class”
Usually, hearing that their child is disruptive feels like a critique for many parents. Behavior is absolutely important, but framing the child as the problem can feel harsh. There might be underlying factors that need to be addressed, such as boredom, unmet needs, or social challenges. Teachers should try to reframe the conversation and focus on solutions rather than making them feel blamed.
5. “I Don’t Think They’re Cut Out for This Subject”
This is another comment that will make a parent feel like you’re trying to put their child in a box. It can also be extremely discouraging. Parents want to believe that their child can improve in any area, given the right support. Any struggle in an academic setting should be looked at as an opportunity for growth and teachers should offer resources or strategies for improvement.
6. “This Is Just How They Are”
Children are constantly evolving and growing. Comments like this undermine their potential for growth. It is always a good idea for teachers to keep in mind that a child’s behavior can be different from other environments, especially their behavior at home. As a parent, it’s important to hear that teachers believe in their children’s ability to adapt and grow.
7. “They Should Be Doing This by Now”
Milestones and benchmarks can vary. Hearing that your child is “behind” is nothing any parent wants to hear. It can feel like a judgment and cause a lot of anxiety. That said, teachers should label these as areas to work on and offer guidance rather than pushing guilt. This helps keep the conversation positive.
8. “I Know What’s Best for Your Child”
No parent wants to hear someone else knows what’s best for their kid. This comment is a fast way to alienate parents in a conversation. Oftentimes, they feel they know their children best and they want to be heard in the conversation when it comes to their child’s education. Rather than stating you know what’s best, it’s a good idea to have collaboration between teachers and parents for the best outcome.
Building a Bridge of Understanding
Most of the time, parents and teachers share a common goal of their child’s success. However, knowing how to communicate with each other can impact how effective the parent-teacher relationship is. Together, parents and teachers can build a supportive environment that helps every child thrive.