According to a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, 47% of adults under 50 in the United States say they are unlikely to have children. As a parent, you may have a hard time with your children’s decision not to have kids of their own. Rest assured, life without grandchildren can be just as fulfilling. It may help to know why many young adults today are choosing not to have children.
1. The State of The World
The US maternal mortality rate is much higher than most other high-income countries. Some women are scared to have a child with the current state of the world. Beyond healthcare concerns, many are concerned about climate change. 84% of 10,000 people ages 16 to 25 years old across 10 countries were either moderately or extremely worried about climate change, according to a 2021 survey published in the Lancet Planet Health. Some feel that bringing a child into this environment is selfish. Many also are very concerned about school safety. In 2021, the number of gun-related deaths of children had increased by 107% since 2013.
2. Not Being Able to Afford a Child
In a large metro area of the United States, raising a child costs about $25,181 per year. A LendingTree study revealed that the cost of raising a small child jumped nearly 20% in a six-year time span. For some, this just isn’t feasible. Wages for millennials have stagnated and many carry significant debt.
3. Infertility or Other Medical Reasons
You may not be aware of infertility challenges or medical issues that your children are facing. Not everyone is open about this sensitive topic. They may want children but are struggling. Be kind when broaching the subject of grandkids because you might not know the whole story.
4. Focus on Other Things
About one in five who say they don’t want children cite other factors like focusing on their career. Especially for women, it can be challenging to build a career and still feel like there is time to have children. There’s a growing sentiment that you can’t have it all. Many people feel like they have to choose, and children just aren’t a top priority.
5. Not Wanting to Be a Bad Parent
Millennials have often been called the anxious generation. Studies show that about 12% of millennials have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Having a child is one of the most stressful things. Especially today when everyone has an opinion on parenting, some millennials are deciding that they don’t want to be parents.
6. Little Support for New Parents
In the United States, there is little support for new parents. The cost of childcare is high. Parents barely get adequate maternity or paternity leave. In many other countries, women can take up to a year or more of maternity leave. Additionally in many countries, like Finland, the government gives every new parent a baby box full of supplies. The Department of Health and Human Services currently launched a pilot program to provide supplies to new parents. They have received requests for more than 1 million diapers so far. If it takes a village to raise a child, the US is far from doing its part.
7. Haven’t Found The Right Partner
According to Pew Research, 33% of people who don’t want children say that they haven’t found the right partner. While having a partner isn’t a prerequisite to having a child, some people want to experience this life-changing event with a partner. Dating today is harder than ever, so finding a suitable partner can be a tall order.
Respecting Their Decisions
There is a sense of grief for you and your children when the decision is made to not have children. However, this is your children’s decision, and probably won’t change. The best course of action is to support your children in whatever they decide. Pressure from you will only strain the relationship. If you are mourning the loss of not being a grandparent, try and find ways to surround yourself with young children. Perhaps you can volunteer to tutor at a local library or help out at an after-school program at a Boy’s and Girl’s Club. While this won’t replace your longing for grandchildren, it can give you purpose and fulfillment.