TL;DR: Apps can lead to a false idea of chemistry. When you finally meet, focus on eye contact, clothes, and the right questions to ask.
According to research carried out by SSRS in 2024, over a third (37%) of US adults have used a dating app or site, and 7% are currently using one. 56% of adults aged 18-29 have used dating sites or apps, and 13% of adults in this age group currently use one.
47% of respondents aged 30-49 have used such an app or site.
The problem with apps and texting is that can lead to a false sense of chemistry. Tone and body language are lacking, both of which are a rich source of information.
Instead of relying on text, focus on building attraction when you finally meet in person.
Leverage the power of eye contact
Holding someone’s gaze can create attraction and ignite a connection. Humans are attracted to eye contact from an early age.
A study from MIT found that infants were far less likely to try and follow an adult’s head movements than their eyes. We notice when someone meets our gaze and what theirs reveals.
Few will remain indifferent to dropped eyelids and a coy, alluring smile. Bedroom eyes have a sultry or wistful look to them. They can be an effective form of flirtation, eliciting desire and attraction.
Avoid dinner dates
You realize chemistry is lacking in the first 15 minutes, but you are stuck there for dinner for at least an hour and a half.
It feels less forced to meet in the daytime for coffee or a walk with the option to extend the conversation and move it to a museum or a bar in the evening.
Choose your clothes carefully
Putting thought into your attire builds attraction because it shows respect for your date.
That said, don’t wear a dress if you don’t normally wear dresses. If the first date is a walk in the park, opt for a skirt-top combo or a casual jumpsuit. Well-fitted jeans with a cute top are ideal for a casual first date.
A 2024 survey revealed that 60.2% of women love seeing someone in a button-up collared shirt on a first date, while 14.8% admitted they wouldn’t mind a date showing up in a T-shirt.
Shoes aren’t as important as some men think. 34% of women voted for a nice pair of boots, barely winning.
The rest of the respondents were split evenly between dress shoes, clean white sneakers, and “other”, with most writing that it didn’t matter.
Head position
When someone enters a bar or restaurant with their head raised very high, it could be perceived as arrogance. Too low obviously signals a lack of confidence.
If they have their chin parallel to the floor or a bit lower, they show they want to look nice for their date.
When people look around too much when they walk into an establishment, it is a sign they either want to be noticed or feel nervous.
Exposing the neck is a playful, flirty gesture.
FAQ
1. What are the best first questions to ask on a date?
A banal “How are you?” gives little to no insight into an individual or their typical attitude. Better first questions include “How was your trip?”, “How’s your day been?” or “Do you have a favorite place to eat/drink?” Listen carefully to the answers and respond accordingly.
2. What’s the worst thing you can do on a first date? Whining and complaining. No matter what your date asks, always answer positively.
Downplay your terrible week or wretched morning. You are there to create attraction, not to request sympathy or seek validation.
Honesty has a time and place. Keep things fun and easy-going when meeting new people.