I don’t think anyone is ever truly ready to become a parent. Your life changes in so many ways that are unexpected. Parenting is full of surprises, joys, and challenges. Until you’re in the thick of it, you may not realize how hard it is. Looking back, there are a number of things I wished someone had shared with me about raising kids before I had my own.
1. It’s Okay If Everything Doesn’t Go as Planned
Throw your plans out the window when you have kids. Seriously! It’s okay to plan a day out, but remember that it’s also okay if things don’t go as planned. Your kids have their own agendas, moods, and personalities that can turn things upside down. Learning to adapt on the fly is key and letting go of the need for everything to be perfect can make parenting more enjoyable overall.
2. Kids Learn More from What You Do Than What You Say
Your children are like sponges. They are constantly watching you, even when you don’t realize it. As a result, they pick up your habits, language, and other behaviors. You can try to tell them the right way to do things all day long, but unless you are setting an example with how you live/do things, it won’t sink in. If you want them to be kind and responsible, you have to model those behaviors yourself.
3. Finding Time for Yourself Is Essential, Not Selfish
It’s not selfish to set time aside for yourself as a parent. In fact, it is essential to being a good parent. You need to take a few moments every day to recharge. While it’s easy to feel guilty about taking this time, it allows you to give your best self to your kids. Whether you sit down and read a book or take a walk alone, these small acts of self-care will add up over time. Additionally, prioritizing yourself sets a healthy example for your kids.
4. Patience Isn’t Just a Virtue
Having kids will test your patience like nothing else. Children can be demanding and they’ll often push limits every chance they get. Being able to stay calm in stressful situations will make a difference in your relationship with your kids. Embracing a more patient mindset will help your parenting journey be more enjoyable.
5. Each Child Is Unique, and That’s a Beautiful Thing
No child is the same. In today’s day and age, it is easy to compare your children to others. However, every kid is going to progress at their own rate and they each have their own personality. Your child’s uniqueness is what makes them who they are. Embracing this will allow them to grow in a healthy, supportive environment. It will also help you build a stronger bond.
6. You’ll Worry About Them Every Day
When I had my first child I was overrun with anxiety about her. As she slept, I was constantly watching the monitor, worrying about if she was okay. Now, when she goes somewhere without me, I worry about whether or not she’s okay, if she’s making friends, etc. You have to accept that worrying is normal, but you also need to find a balance between being involved and letting go. While the worry never completely goes away, you become better at handling it.
7. Cherish Every Stage, Because They Grow Up Fast
I wish more people told me how much I needed to just live in the moment with my kids. In the blink of an eye, they went from needing me for everything to being more independent. Eventually, I’ll be seeing them off to college and possibly even attending their weddings. So, take all the photos you want, make silly memories, and appreciate every small moment.
Embracing the Parenting Journey
Overall, it is essential to embrace your parenting journey, whatever that might look like for you. You’ll learn lessons, find joy in simple things, and face challenges you never expected. Doing all of this and loving your children through it all will make you a better parent. Sometimes I wish I had known some of these things sooner, but remember, there is no perfect way to be a parent. There is just the way that works best for you and your kids.