While nothing can fully prepare you for motherhood, having some insight into the process can make the transition smoother. Many new mothers desire greater knowledge about childbirth and early motherhood. From unexpected physical changes to emotional surprises, here are 20 things mothers wish they had known before embarking on this life-altering journey.
1. You’ll Need More Recovery Time Than Expected
When you have a baby, it’s a traumatic experience for not only the mother but her body. You have a gaping wound in your abdomen that needs time to heal. Not to mention c-section incisions, if applicable. This could mean a lengthy recovery time. Make sure you allow yourself time to heal and don’t rush back into daily routines or exercise.
2. Breastfeeding Isn’t Always Easy
Breastfeeding is often portrayed as natural, and one of the best ways to provide your baby nutrients. The only problem is that it can be challenging and requires patience. Be aware that it takes almost 3 days post-delivery for your milk to come in. When it’s time to breastfeed, you must also note that many moms experience discomfort and latch issues, which are completely normal.
3. Sleep Deprivation Can Be Overwhelming
Every new mom wants to get some sleep after a long day caring for her baby. The only problem is, newborns have unpredictable sleep schedules. When thier sleep schedule does not align with yours, it can lead to serious sleep deprivation. Preparing for this reality can help you manage expectations and get support where possible.
4. Postpartum Emotions Are Intense and Real
Once you give birth, you may notice a shift in your mood. This is caused by a hormonal dump after birth. It can lead to sudden mood shifts, from elation to tears. These feelings of intense emotions are normal but it is crucial to recognize when they become overwhelming so that you can seek support.
5. Your Body Will Feel Different in Surprising Ways
After birth, your body goes through adjustments you may not expect. Adjustments may include night sweats or physical tenderness. For me, its random itchiness at my c-section scar. Give yourself grace as your body gradually recovers.
6. Mom Guilt Is Real, But It’s Normal
Mom guilt is real. Many moms experience guilt about every decision they make, from feeding to sleep schedules. They want to be sure they are doing everything right for thier child. While those feelings are normal, remind yourself that there’s no “perfect” way to parent, and trust your instincts.
7. Support Networks Make All the Difference
You need a network of support to lean on. The early months of your baby’s life are hard. Having a solid support network of family and friends will make it easier. Don’t hesitate to lean on others for help with household chores or even just emotional support. Don’t be afraid to ask them for what you need.
8. Bonding Takes Time for Some Moms
Not all moms feel an instant bond with their baby, and that’s okay. Bonding is unique for every mom and baby and will develop naturally with time and care.
9. Setting Boundaries with Visitors Is Important
Your baby, your rules. Everyone will want to meet the new baby, but you are the parents. If you have rules and boundaries, set them out and hold everyone accountable for maintaining them. They are in place to protect your baby and your energy. Prioritize your recovery and limit visits to when you’re ready. And if people can not stick to the rules, do not be afraid to tell them to back off.
10. Routine Isn’t Immediate—It Takes Weeks to Settle In
The early days are unpredictable, and establishing a routine can take time. Remember a baby is adjusting to its new environment. It will take them time to get on a schedule that works for them. Accepting this can alleviate pressure to get things on a strict schedule. Also, do not compare your baby’s sleep schedule to others, they vary and there is no one-size-fits-all solution.
11. Self-Care Becomes More Challenging
When you tend to a baby all day, you may find that you have less time for yourself. Simple acts like showering or eating a full meal may feel like luxuries in the beginning because you won’t have much time to do these things, especially if you don’t have help. Try to carve out small moments for self-care whenever possible.
12. It’s Okay to Ask for Professional Help
You can get overwhelmed with emotions. It is not uncommon for women to experience postpartum blues or depression. It affects many new moms, and it’s important to reach out. Therapists and counselors are valuable resources to help you navigate early motherhood. If you don’t know where to go, you can seek support from your OB or your child’s pediatrician. They will refer you to the proper services.
13. Trust Your Instincts When It Comes to Your Baby
Even if you’re a new mom, trust your instincts. People will try to give you advice, but remember you know your baby best. You don’t have to listen to every piece of advice that comes to you, especially the unsolicited kind. Instead, trust your instincts and make choices that feel right for your family.
14. The Hospital Bag Essentials You Need
Before you go into labor, you’re gonna need snacks. You may have to go in the middle of the night or after they serve the last meals. That means a closed cafeteria and no way to get food. Snacks are going to be essential so make sure you pack them. Outside of that, you’re going to need other essentials like chargers, comfy clothing, and toiletries. They make the hospital stay easier. Many moms realize they overpacked but wish they had included more comfort items.
15. Meal Prepping Is a Lifesaver in the Early Days
You’re not going to have a lot of time to yourself to cook elaborate meals. Before the baby comes, cook what you like ahead of time. You can meal prep in large batches and freeze everything so you have what you need available when it’s time to come home from the hospital. Having meals ready in advance can ease stress in the first few weeks. Consider batch-cooking or asking loved ones to help with meals for easier days.
16. Sleep When the Baby Sleeps Isn’t Always Practical
While the common advice of sleeping when the baby sleeps may seem practical, it’s important to consider other responsibilities. When household chores accumulate and tasks pile up, the baby’s sleep period might be the only opportunity to complete them. If you have a partner, the most effective way to ensure adequate rest is to alternate shifts. This approach not only allows you to clean and manage the house but also provides uninterrupted sleep, promoting better overall well-being.
17. Not Every Product Will Work for You
Baby gadgets can be very appealing. In the beginning, you’re going to love them all and want them all. While they may seem helpful, remember that these are not a one-size-fits-all solution. All babies are different and not every product will work for yours. Don’t feel pressured to buy everything—prioritize items that fit your needs.
18. Your Relationship May Shift in Unexpected Ways
Having a baby can add stress to relationships. You need to make sure you have open communication and understanding between the two of you. Make time for conversations, even if they’re brief, to keep a strong connection.
19. You May Have Mixed Feelings About Returning to Work
Maternity leave is a great opportunity to bond with your baby. When it comes time for it to end, it’s really a bummer for most moms. Leaving your baby to return to work can feel bittersweet, and that’s normal. Transitioning into this new routine takes time, so be kind to yourself.
20. Motherhood Is a Learning Process—Be Patient with Yourself
Motherhood is filled with trial and error. You will be constantly learning. Embrace every moment and know that being a great mom means doing your best.
Embracing the Journey
Motherhood is a transformative journey brimming with unexpected moments, personal growth, and an abundance of happiness. As you navigate this adventure, know that your experiences are unique and shared by countless other mothers. Embrace the following 20 insights to prepare yourself for the challenges and cherished moments that await you.